Airhead University: Speech 101 MP3 by Isabella Valentine
Like, Oh My God. You're actually reading this! That means, like, you wanna be the world's SMARTEST airhead and I am like, so proud of you for taking this step!
But, like, this is NOT real hypnosis, cause that's for smart people. This does have lots of wicked cool training though to condition your mind forever to be the BEST airhead you can be for the REST of your life!
This is going to be like, soooo totally cool! By the way, I'm Isabella. I'll be training all sissy bimbos to be real girl airheads. It's not like I'm your teacher or anything, ugh - as if! I'm more of your Mistress than anything. Teachers suck and they have bad breath. And the only things you have to read are tabloid magazines because well, textbooks are for boring people that wear flannel and We are, like, soooo much better than they are. Duh!
And what people don't understand is that being an airhead requires skill and is like, super hard. I mean, God. You try bending over in platforms in the rain while trying to apply lipstick so you can get a free taxi ride. It's not easy, trust Me. Not anyone off the street can be an airhead. You gotta be taught all the lessons and the do's and dont's.
I'll also show you how to flirt with men to buy you stuff, and how to tilt your head, pout your lips, and what girlie stuff to wear. And it's important to tease guys and make them think you're interested even though you're really not. After all, you just want their money. I'll teach you how to fool them by just using a bunch of cool words and flirting with them and showing them a hint of your panties. I have a PhD in Airhead-ology and have like a sweater proving it, so trust Me, ok? And like... if you graduate and do really well, you'll earn a big giant gold trophy! But you'll have to take a whole bunch of classes for that.
Now here's what's really cool. I do like a small little hypnosis induction on you without sounding like a total airhead and when this happens, your IQ gets smaller and smaller. This will help you on your way to becoming the perfect airhead. And the dumber you get, the more ditzy I begin to sound! So dumb in fact, that well, there aren't any trigger words in this cause... eh... what are trigger words? Who cares? This isn't hypnosis anyway. I'd like to call this brain conditioning, but who cares about that right now? What we really care about is that really cool purse at the mall! Come on already! Let's go!!! Like hurry up already so we can get going!